the L word..among other stuff

i am going a little sentimental in this post.

talking bout my theory on the L word.

not lust but love.

although some people find it hard to differentiate those two words.

people like me.

call me old fashioned but i truly believe in the sacredness of the word love.

it means you deeply and sincerely care about the person you feel it towards.

i.e family, friends, girl/boyfriends in general.

never say the word love blatantly unless you really really really mean it.

i've past my womanizing days, and yes by blatantly saying the word in the correct moment (moment of pure vulnerability) you WILL score a lot of points.

but a strict principle i held on to for more than 10 years (amboi) is to not say the word iunless you mean it.

people nowadays say it regularly like it is worthless.

as frequent as they say the word sh*t,f*uck,f*uck that sh*t, although i doubt the feasibility in the last phrase.

imagine f*cking that sh*t?

i dare not dwell on that matter, baru je lepas sahur ni.

anyways, what i want to say is, treasure that special word wisely.

it means a lot to some people.

and remember, "i love eating burgers" is lust, not love.

think about it.

...........................................

today is my second day temporarily parentless.

couple of challenges includes the laundry (wash,dry,fold), sisters wellfare (food, studies etc.)

i tell you it is no easy job.

so in this moment of enlightenment, i pay my respect to all the parents out there.

truly tough task you have going on raising kids.

being the responsible brother i am, i settle all the laundry.

not that easy seeing as to how early i go to work, and how late i reach home by the end of the day.

so i opted to settle the laundry at night (thank God for the invention of the dryer).

as for household chores, i delegate it fairly among us three.

no power abuse suprisingly.

and suprisingly more is that i take up most of the chores.

another matter that suprises me is to how caring i am towards my sisters.

don't ask me how, but i seem to care about them more.

maybe i do have a softer more responsible side to me.

suddenly i feel like i am a dad concerned over his pride and joys.

as an example, i make noon calls to both of them to make sure everything is fine and dandy.

i call them before i drive back from work.

and i asked how their day was??

seriously!!

i deem myself to be a wonderful parent in the future. Amiiiin.

till we meet again.

salam.

end note - just too many positive words being said above, so in this post, no summary of good things. enjoy your family as you enjoy looking yourself in the mirror after putting on a nice set of clothes smirking.

it is another hectic/emotional/draining montag

salam ramadhan al-mubarak (hehe).

as always, i am about to complain about the complexity of my life.

but in most cases, i make the situation more complex than it is.

exhibit A; relationship based problems.

that explains me still being available for the picking but cute fruit harvesters.

(imagine me as a finally ripen juicy apple.lmao!)

ok, where shall i start.

from morning to present times i suppose.

chronology is the key to an interesting story.

you may or may not know that i took a day off today.

primarily to laze around endlessly.

but i had two interviews today.

for the same post but different divisions.

it's hard to understand if you don't know what i am currently doing.

so the morning session was ok la, not bad in my books.

but the afternoon session started off badly with me getting slightly lost (blame the road for being uber winding).

and upon arrival, they were some miscommunications, and so i had to wait 40minutes for my interview session (lucky i had my BB-berlagak sikit di situ).

it started off well with my interviewers being the cool sempoi type.

than they gave me a marker and a whiteboard, not as a gift, but for me to solve problematic situational err situations.

and it relates to the thing that i studied a YEAR & a HALF ago.

memang lah i dah ingat-ingat lupa malu-malu kucing.

(i think i have the convincing i am intelligent look, but i know they were disappointed to discover the shallowness of my knowledge).

i tried my best in that dire situation.

but unfortunately BSing does not work in situations where you are judged based on facts.

and at that time, my facts were a dismal nil!!

and hour and a half later, the bombing of berlin ceased.

i was left there pondering stupidly, putting on a brave face.

i felt like i was stripped naked and tied up on a flag pole for people to admire errr stare i mean.

but there is a plus side to all this...

ok fine!

there are no plus sides!

but i tell you i am going back there fully equipped in a months time!

mark my words mister "i fail to see the glimpse of light from your ideas".

fuhhh!geram aku rasa nak debik tapi aku bersabar.

................................

my parents left for umrah leaving me and my two little sisters home.

it was kinda touching although they will be gone only for a week.

i'll tell on my tales and tips on how to manage a household without making it into a househole while juggling a career (ceewah) while maintaining poise and class of an aristocrat.

so ladies and gentlemen that signals the end of my rambling.

have a nice week.

end note-people may not be tested till they are faced with desperate situations. i suppose the interview and the management of the house and siblings would be a good test for me. of course, there will always be a brighter side of things in any situation. it all depends on you on how you see it.

finally something good.

i am gonna start my post with a startling news.

remember the list on my previous post?

well i already sadly did not achieve one of it.

due to exhaustion and unforeseen circumstances, i missed last nite's tarawih.

but fortunately tonite's tarawih is fulfilling.

and the tazkirah, well lets put it this way, was impactful.

terasa insaf yang berpanjangan...

.....................

on to a slightly less significant nothing related to ramadhan news.

after almost 2 months of pondering, finally i have made my mind.

i am gonna do it tomorrow!!

yeay!!

end.

for you & me

salam ramadhan al-mubarak.

it's that time of the month again (restraining myself from making period jokes).

fasting month is here.

quick tickets to losing pounds.

it is an Ibadah, and it is a time when we should reflect on ourselves.

our lifestyle, attitude etc.

so i have been a bit of a nuisance to people quite recently.

so i thought to myself, i need a change.

so this is my ramadhan change list (bare with me, its a long list):

1. QUIT SMOKING (i bought myself a pack of nicotine gums. instead of smoking before tarawih, i'll just chew on the gum. hopefully i can make it.amiiin~)
2. quit being selfish
3. quit being judgmental
4. quit reacting based on emotion
5. think before i act
6. stop hurting people emotionally & mentally
7. refrain from vulgarity
8. refrain from mencuci mata excessively
9. be more motivated
10. be more financially savvy
11. be more sincere in doing my daily task
12. BE A BETTER MUSLIM-judging from my current amalan, i am almost guaranteed a spot in hell;(
13. complete tarawih for the whole month
14. finally, don't hangat-hangat tahi ayam for once

i realized that i have a lot of shortcomings.

and i have turned a blind eye to it.

but since a Holy month is here, why not make the best of it.

ramadhan only comes once a year, so why not invest on it.

why don't you guys share your wish list with me?

in my first post after ramadhan, i'll cross out the things that i think i have improved on.

i may not achieve all, but i really x88 hope i can reduce my bad habits.

puasa penuh kawan-kawan ye!

end note-we always overlook our own weaknesses. never do that. change for the better. i promised someone that i'll change. with God's blessings, i hope i do change. but remember, change for yourself, not for other people. it'll last longer.

the observer

yes, i am referring to myself.

i am observant and i realized this on my drive back home from the hospital.

i observed 3 crucial things.

but the number may increase depending on whether i am creative enough to olahkan, or whether i am rajin enough to even finish this post.

one (satu)

i observed that i am observant and that i have a critical thinking mind.

very creative in depicting everything i see in real life detail and specificity.

two (dua)

i am a liar as you might notice in the statement above.

i am neither observant nor critical minded nor creative.

two point one (dua poin satu)

i am honest cause i actually told you that i have just lied.

three (tiga)

the twilighters.

yes!

there is a twilight fan club in Malaysia called twilighters.

i saw the sticker on the back of a car.

clearly stating "Twilighters Malaysia".

so it is safe to say that not only Malaysians are stupid, ramai juga orang luar Malaysia yang sanggup devote to a glorified chick flick (hehe).

i am waiting to bump into a car with a "harry potheads" sticker, cause that shit is huge-r than twilight.

four (empat)

people tend to tilt their head slightly to the right during traffic congestions.

why?

don't ask me.

remember, i am the observer, not the answerer.

duhhh!

end.

end note - i am trying my hardest not to sound too gloomy, fyi i am still stuck in the mendung weather. wishing for happier days. hopefully Ramadhan's blessing will bless my heart & soul. God bless you guys. Selamat berbuka (soon)!

theory on dreams

This can be a cliché of the thousands and thousands of posts out there which is Inception based.

Don’t worry, this is not a review on the movie.

I won’t bore you with my theories which were gained by cumulating other people’s theory.

But since watching that movie, the idea has struck me as quite feasible.

Not the part where we can enter another’s dream bla..bla..bla.

The part where they say about the ideas which are implemented during a dream will resurface in the conscious mind.

Sounds logical kan?

Lets relate it in our daily life.

Ok la relate it to my daily life.

I had a freakish combo dream (two tales in a session of sleep)

To be fair, I slept at 9 p.m and woke up at 6 a.m. (I have been sleeping quite early this whole week)

So, plenty of time there.

I won’t go into the specifics of the dream, cause it involves a few individuals that I am close to.

But as a summary, the dream relates closely to my daily life.

So close that when I finally woke up, I was dazed by the new facts I have received during my sleep.

It took me awhile to convince myself that it was a dream.

But the fact still remains that a dream has a certain degree in power to influence your emotions.

Dreams are dangerous.

It really is, but dreams are fun, especially the ones which involves you to take early cold showers in the morning, kalau tak, tak boleh sembahyang Subuh (kuikui).

...........................................

Anyways, so far I’m still coping well with my new work environment.

And for some strange reason, I bonded pretty well with those from the maintenance crew.

Similar case with my first work rotation.

Is this a psychological disorder of wanting to feel superior?

If this is, how do I overcome it?

Or is this a petanda that I have good PR with “subordinates” and that my true skills lie in being a good manager? (wow!)

Let’s just see how that goes in a few years time ya?

.............................................

Personally, my life is in a rumble.

Again, no details.

I appreciate friends who are willing to take time to listen to my problems, seriously.

I love you guys.

But for now, I’ll just keep mum.

Silence is golden.

Maybe I’ll be rich if I keep mum for a few months.

Then I can go shop till I drop.

Bye-bye.

Oh ya, will it hurt if I knocked the street light at 60 km/h?

Sounds like a fun experiment: Savvy vs Street light (hahaha).

End note – family is important, and friends are really nice to have too. They listen although they don’t really know how to help. In a way, that is also helping. So keep good company. You never know if they would make a positive change in your life in the future.

15 minutes only

half an hour ago, i promised myself that i will put up a new post.

half an hour later, here i am, on my bed, bersila in front of my lappy, typing.

about what?

let's just see what i can squeeze out from my puny brain.

ohh. did i tell you people that i plan to type non-stop for 15 minutes and stop exactly after that?

just to see how creative (safe word for numbskull) i can be.

ohh. timeout, tengok t.v jap, cerita dah start.

(stop stopwatch)

............................................

ok continue.

lets go with some updates.

i am currently being posted at a private hospital in subang.

i think i need to buy some shirts this month.

last month, pants month.

this month shirts, next month probably 2 pairs of shoes.

the next, probably a few cardigans.

goshh..so many to buy.

(pause- dammit i do sound like a girl)

so from now on, shopping wishlist to myself.

and also i have decided not to sound to sappy at my blogspot.

it will tarnish my lelaki kebal image.

instead i'll sound sappy here.

ok ok, a few more minutes left.

i have decided to see life more positively.

relinquish all my negative thoughts, and think less of what burdened me in the past.

jeez..not an interesting post.

what the heck. more to come.

ciao~

end note - i have nothing smart to say this time. later ya?