Wednesday, July 21, 2010

gorry details of Amirul's special day

this is a special post:

the day started off badly for me.
came out of the house early.good.
slightly motivated though it was raining woof woof & miao miao since early morning.good.
drove carefully.exceedingly excellent.

then multiple shits happened.

almost knocked a motorcyclist (sape suruh potong guna emergency lane).shit.
got into NKVE and stuck.shit.
encountered two accidents along the way.shit.
finally ended up at the office late.shit shit shit.

6 shits outweigh 2 good and 1 excellent (equivalent of 2 goods) every single time!

a bad day to start my day.
but it didn't stop there.
rushed into the office due to heavy duty loads knocking on my backdoor eagerly wanting to see the light of day (but they didn't know that i plan to drown them in chlorinated water and flush them down like bring it on!!).
did the necessary preparations before docking into designated work station (toilet bowl).
finally some peace of mind.
peace & quiet, and nothing stopping me from unloading the waste that have been pulling my weight up!
die faecal matter die!

suddenly another guy went in the next cubicle and judging by the sound of the unbuckling belt and zip downed at a hasty pace, i am sure his venturing into the same business i am in.
(kelakar kan sometimes you hear people next door struggling & mendengus to get it out.gross.lmao!)
the worst was yet to happen!
it stank!
it stank even more then the stankiest of stink!
dude, what you had for breakfast.
it was like all hell broke lose and the smelly hell decided to drop by and say hello!

i had to counter the effect or i'll be in the front page of all major tabloids:

"a trainee found dead in a cubicle with his pants down"

that sounds wrong in every way you see it.
so i lit my cigarette.two reasons.
  1. drive the smell away.
  2. nicotine is a good insecticide, so no lalats.
unfortunately it was to no avail.
so i hurried my business, cleaned up, and scoot out.
i sat down staring at my laptop with an empty stare.
dude, WHAT did you eat for breakfast.
day, please spare me the agony and end quickly.


end note - it was a joy seeing all the birthday wishes on my facebook wall. the joy in seeing those wishes along with a few texts from my ex students and friends, and calls from family members will always turn the frown upside down. happy birthday Amirul, you deserve it after a year of staying alive:)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

pening kepala-edisi bahasa malaysia

selamat tengah hari.
saya sudah makan tengah hari, anda bagaimana pula?
menu hari ini ialah nasi ayam.
sangat lazat, bertemankan air suam.

saya sudah lali menjamu selera berseorangan.
saya bukan sombong, cuma telah disombongkan (oleh mereka yang mengabaikan kewujudan saya).

pada pendapat anda, mengapa penulis blog enggan approve blog?
adakah kerana mereka sombong?
ataupun mereka tidak dapat menerima kritikan membina?
saya faham kalau mereka enggan mengemukakan komen yang berisi carutan, tetapi ini kan pula komen yang biasa sahaja.

saya agak kecewa.
jejaknya kaki mereka membuka akaun blog, mereka perlu bersedia untuk dikritik.
kiranya seperti mereka berada di mata masyarakat umum.

sekian untuk petang ini dan juga hari ini.
untuk minggu ini, siapa sahaja yang tahu kalau saya ingin menulis lagi.


kata akhir-sudah 2 hari saya cuba untuk menulis sesuatu yang lucu berbaur lucah. tapi otak saya enggan bekerjasama. mengapa? inikah yang dinamakan halangan penulis (writers block)? apa-apa jelah. saya rasa saya handal meluahkan isi otak dalam bahasa melayu. sekian

Friday, July 16, 2010

the 10th companion (refer to "the 10th commandment" if you haven't get the joke)

two reasons to celebrate:
  1. it is Friday people.
  2. i have got myself my 10th follower (milestone).
*for those who wished you were number 10, padan muka, siapa suruh berlengah, kan dah tak dapat your own post.

but having a follower, does not come cheap.
i have to dedicate this post (this exact post that you are reading) to that individual.
lets call this person Q (no names required, sebab i am sure Q would be ashamed to be associated to my less then dumb blog...boohoo).

first and foremost, i am blown away by the fact that you could follow someone's blog via twitter?!
the cyberworld has really improved since i last entered it (which was 5minutes ago).

anyways, i told Q that i will make sure that Q's decendents will remember this blog forever after.
so how do i do that?
uploading pictures of myself posing tirelessly in front of the mirror with GQ facial expressions i.e blue steel?
i shall deprive you people from experiencing that visual pleasure.


while i was having my lunch alone (because i read somewhere that girls are intimidated by goodlooking guys), the idea came to me.
why not tell the tale of how Q and i first met.

heres how it goes:

in a fantasy location in the region of Pahang, far far away, there lived i.
i was walking alone (because i read somewhere that girls are intimidated by goodlooking guys), somewhere, a few years ago.
and there, the first time i set my eyes on the person that is Q who was elegantly taking steps one by one approaching me.
i said, "finally"(if you are wondering, my monologues are out loud), "someone who is not intimidated by my classic dashing look".
and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how i met Q.
the end.

truth be told, i rarely talked to Q in uni.
there was the occasional,

Me"wassup" (cause wassup was for the cool cats..meeeow!)
Q:"your zip is open"
Me:"yeah i know, natural air conditioning lah. save the environment. duhhh!"

but blogs are amazing.
it gives you reason to make conversation with people you rarely spoke to.
yeah, of course most of them kutuk, but still, it is a conversation.
and i appreciate those kind of stuff cause at least i know someone is reading, and it gives me the strength to carry on (que lagu We are The Champions by Queens..just because).

there you have it Q, a post dedicated to you, my tenth tak-malu-untuk mengaku reader.;)

hope you've enjoyed reading it, more then twice i did.
cause i hated every single second of this experience (joke).

tata for now.

end note - i made most of the conversations up if you haven't noticed. i love posting up blogs. yes, my blogs are meaningless, yes, i don't blog for attention (judging by the number of followers), yes, i am very sincere bout writing to please myself. do things that you love no matter what people say. self happiness is important.

Monday, July 12, 2010

monday reds

so world cup is over.
my 8 (eight) years loyalty to Spain finally paid off.
in case you haven't heard, Spain is the new world champion, ousting the expired bunch of Italians.
it was worth my lack of sleep.
though immediately after publishing this post, i'll head to the toilet to catch up with some sleep (yes, i do sleep in the toilet, if and ONLY IF it is clean!).
i have read so many WC (the irony of me using WC as an acronym for world cup after a brief introduction of my toilet habit..lmao) related post, so i am not gonna bore people with an extensive congratulatory speech of how Spain deserved the trophy after years & years being labelled as the great underachiever (see how good Spain is??even when they're underachievers, people still call them great).

so what will my post be about?
nothing, abso-freaking-lutely nothing.
i am just bored.
no work, though i have met up with the boss telling him my concern with this current predicament of mine.
its not that i care, but i am being evaluated, so i need to shine like a freshly bleached teeth.
which reminds me, where can i get those teeth bleachers?
i saw someone in Cougar Town put it on.
and have any of you tried it?
i know it is corrosive & all, but i just need my teeth to be a few shades whiter.


damn those Westeners, making us Asians unsatisfied with durian-yellow teeth.


oh yeah, i found a really nice pair of vintage Clark's shoes in the store yesterday.
just needs a new sole and some polishing and i have got the prefect choice of footwear for my summer look.lmao.
saves me a few hundred ringgit in the process.
i have nothing particular to write.
just thought that writing this blog would ease my boredom & to kill time.
hoping that by the time i am done with this blog, it will be 5.15 p.m (wishful thinking).
berkerut dahi nak wishful thinking.

so adios muchachos.
have a fun week.

end note - world cup was fun, but the staying up actually makes you gain weight although you don't munch on things. frequent exercise & good diet helps in countering this effect. i don't even know why i am saying this. must be the lack of sleep kicking in.*sigh*