looks are deceiving

it has been an uneventful day.

everybody in the office is busy with finishing up documentation for the financial year end.

so me, being a thoughtful trainee thought that it is best that i don't bother my supervisor to ask for a task (translated to being plain ol' lazy).

and i thought that i could survive the whole day looking busy by frowning while reading blogs and IMing my buddies (gives the illusion as if i am doing something work related).

but at 10.33 a.m i found myself burned out.

mata pedih nak mampus sebab dok stare at the laptop monitor for 2 hours non-stop..real busy right?

so i went around occasionally holding my notebook and pen, going around like i am doing inspections and shit.

and after that i was still bored waiting for the clock to tick 12.30 (my lunch time).

so i browsed blogs, occasionally browsing FB to see any updates. none.

so i decided to burden my mind with the list of new things i need to buy to start my wardrobe revamp.

and i just read that wearing a square toe shoes is a faux pas!(bummer!)

and this shoe cost me 300+ bux!!(to be fair, it was a gift from my dad. but still!)

so shoe issues aside, these are a few things that i am going to get myself as a birthday gift and also something for raya (just to reduce the feeling of guilt for spending extravagantly).

these days i find myself fairly particular bout pants. and to my delight, skinny jeans are not so in anymore!! ( i dreaded when everyone was spotting skinnies while i can't due to my oh-so-manly thighs*sigh*).

ok ok..so here is THE list:

1. 3 pairs of slim cut pants, non-pleated (chinos or khakis)..2 natural colours and one super daring colour (TBD).
2. a few plain t-shirts/v-necks..lets put it at 3.
3. an finally a few pairs of fine fitting plain shirts. think i am going to get 2 just to experiment. i'll try to avoid plaids cause that is so budak baru nak up kinda look.
4. now my problem is finding the right pair of shoes. i have yet to see the result of this revamp, so shoes are quite an investment to make, and furthermore i can only wear them during weekends when i am out dating (any volunteers?). so i will put them in my KIV list.
5. i would love to have sports jackets in my list, but it is not practical with me living in Malaysia in this freaking hot weather!

so i hopefully i will be able to look like this: (but with darker shades of skin and a slightly more penyek nose and minus the jacket)

courtesy of SB

i will update my blog on this new revamp a month from now. if i do succeed in changing my look.

Cheers.

end note-stupidly enough, in Malaysia (only i think), well dressed men are perceived to being queer. what is up with that. though i am no fashion expert, but i do think men should take care of the way they look. at least, at least use deodorant. no matter how good you look, but if people can't stand 2 meters from you, it still beats the purpose.

money issues

when i was young,

and christmas trees are tall,

du du du du du du du duuu,

(a snippet of BeeGees First of May..good shit i tell you)

when i was young and naive (when i first started my tertiary education),

money was not a big concern for me.

my parents gave me the money i needed, though i wouldn't say it is enough (600bux per month mana cukup!).

so sadly, the value of money slipped my morale compass (this sentence sounds nice so i didn't really bother checking whether it made any sense).

when i was in the university, i always wanted to earn my own income.

yes of course i feel guilty for spending my parents money on cigarettes.

but the main reason is because i wanted to spend the money i earn without feeling any guilt.

meaning i wanted to buy things i want, and not things that my parents would want me to have, catch my drift?

(selingan: i thought earning my own money would give me satisfaction, so i was really looking forward to working life while i was studying..but now i feel that being a student is the best part in life; less responsibility, more sleeping time).

but after a few months making an honest living, i realized the value of money.

dulu i looked at my bro and thought, boy kedekut gila dia ni, belanja adik pun tak mahu.

although i wasn't as thrifty as my brother, the thought of spending money without guilt was a naive mentality.

there is no such thing as that.

yesterday i went out and spent 300bux to buy my essentials (perfume&sling bag), and this morning while withdrawing money for the week, it hit me like a lorry.

duit keluar macam air (don't ask me what air lah, i leave that to your own creativity).

i wasn't regretting going out & spending my money, but the fact of the matter is, i hate looking at my depleting bank account.*sigh*

guess this is my dilemma for last weekend.

i guess you can spend whatever you want, but never regret spending it.

long term, you'll actually like what you spent.

this morning, while spraying my new perfume, and hanging my new bag on my shoulders, i thought:

"damn bro, you look fine fine fine"

then again, i always have that thought when looking in a mirror.

i love you mirror, you're the most honest thing i know, NOT like the weight scale (mutthafacka!!)

spend wisely, adios.

end note: the finer things in life makes life worth living. so cherish it and always think positive. never ever regret what you do.you only live once.cheers!

pass gas part two

i seriously have no idea what to type for the second part.

i was thinking of scrapping the second part and replace it with a different post altogether.

but before that, i would like to express my mixed emotions that occured within the past 15minutes.

minute one-sad & bengang because my paintball activity got postponed to Sunday, but i have got other things planned for Sunday*wink*

minute fifteen-opened cimbclicks and i see $$

haihhh..i don't think i am in the mood to post any blogs, so chew on this:

"Spain is in the second round to face the sissy squad of Ronal 'duh"

viva espana

pass gas part one

i kid you not. the title says it all.

this is a post dedicated to the finer things in life. the unappreciated things. the delicate things.

the fart-things.

this post is dedicated to anybody who has trouble to pass gas in public.

this post also commemorates the spirit of all things stupid and useless as all the previous things posted are.

read carefully and i can almost guarantee that you won't have a problem doing it in public ever again.

there are two(2) main things that are the trademark of farts, or to put it in and indiscreet manner, THE GAS!!

so the two sifats are:

(a) the smell

(b) the sound

how to cover up for this two things will be explained in later paragraphs.

so before you even think of gassing, please take note of your environment.

is it loud or is it crowded.

generally, loud and crowded places are easy. the loud environment gives a perfect camouflage for the sound that this gasses emit.

the crowdedness gives you ample of choices to point fingers at if the gas gives out a foul smell.

but don't simply point at your scapegoat to be.

make sure that they have this two sacred criteria. failure to comply to this results in serious backfire.

as i tell you these criteria, please keep an open mind and think the reality of it.

i for one am not a discriminative person.

one: a fat person, because that's how the public perceive fat people as. fucking public!

two: manusia yang selekeh. people who generally looks capable of exhaling those similar smell with a simple process of breathing.

if you point to these two people, then my friend you are safe from the ridiculing eyes of the public.

these method can be used if you are in a confined space with no friends like the LRT for example.

DO NOT point bluntly because that can result in bruises. but in my opinion, bruises are way better then being called the gasser.

immediately after you fart, keep calm.

don't make any gestures that may give you away such as wiggling your arse or even looking around.

a few seconds after gassing, and the smell starts being obvious, still keep calm.

don't act like you are the first to notice, be the second or third. but NEVER the last.

being the last means that you are trying to hide the fact that you are the offender.

the next step is to intentionally make eye contact with the closest person to you. just for a few miliseconds, then make a short glance at the closest fattest, smelly looking person.

not too long. just glance long enough to ensure that the initial person you made eye contact with, agrees with your opinion.

once you have an agreer, just make a simple gesture like your nose tersumbat and you wanted to exhale.

do that just once.

NEVER touch your nose or cover it. too much will do you harm and will cause unnecessary attention towards you.

................................

END OF PART ONE.

end note: i wanted this to be a short post, but the idea kept popping up. so wait for part two for the ultimate adventure of gasman/gaswoman.

coolest post by the coolest person.ME!

so check it out ya.

i was trying to pimp out my blog, and i can't help but refer to the coolest blogs around.

how do i define cool?well if the blog has more followers then me, automatically they qualify as cool blogs.

notice Exhibit A on your right. 9 followers, therefore roughly about 27.9 million more blogs are cool blogs*applause*.

so i did some homework.

instead of running round the office to setup an OSH committee; because that is how committed i am to work right now.

the key points i noticed was that, ALL the cool blogs, have shit loads of photos.

& as you can see, the number of photos on my blog is an amazing less then 10.

and i complain about the number of followers right?

let me justify why i don't that many illustrations..

so listen, i don't have a fancy DSLR camera hanging around my neck, and i couldn't care less about bringing it around each time i go to mamak stalls or walk my cat.

i just don't understand this kind of people (not the ones who walk their cat ya, the other one..please take note, walking your cat is cool).

i am a person contempt with having a 3.2 megapixel camera phone as my means of snapping the daily what not.

to add to that, i hate talking pictures, i love being taken(say cheese..;D..million dollar smile right there).

the second thing i noticed bout cool blogs is the number of different types of fonts, font sizes, & font colors used in a single sentence.

seriously, don't they have better things to do then choosing the correct font & color for the letter "B"?

it is up to them, i am not judging..you know how colors help kids in memorizing, probably they are assuming that people would try to memorize they're 5000 words post..again, i am not judging (kuikui).

my solution to this two problems? don't change a thing.

i tried playing around with the fonts/colors, and i ended up leaving my blog for two months.

some people just don't have the capacity or commitment to give a damn about minor details.

guys are like that, and fo sho i am like that.

as for the pictures..hurmm..i am still trying to figure out that part.

i see them editing pictures and making them look so nice & vibrant, and again, i don't have the time to do all those stuff.

i am lazy, i am the definition of lazy, if i didn't know better, i would think that Amirul translates to lazy.

my conclusion to this issue is that, try not to do something you cannot do.

i am not saying that it is better to not experiment on things, but just know your limit.

don't push things, take your time. and i can't believe i there is a morale value for this post.

cool!!

................................

at first i wanted to write a bout something else. but my mind floated elsewhere.

anyhoo, if it is no too late, happy World Cupping.

to the girls, now is the time to rekindle your love towards ball(s).

...............................

by the way my friend said that my picture in this blog makes me look fat.

i only took that picture to show off my new glasses. that is how vain i am.

and the bulge that you might noticed on my picture is due to the folding....argggh..malas nak type lagi.

i just wanna reassure all the female population (not just limited to my followers (macam ajar ajaran sesat je ada followers)) that my 6 pac has yet again evolved to an 8 pac.badabing!

end note: i don't care about the number of followers.

i write to please myself.

because in the real world, we will always be selfish no matter how much we try to deny.

that is the cold hard truth.

viva espana.buenos noches mi amigo.

sunday daily post

good morning.

it is a beautiful morning. birds chirping.

my sister knocking the door off the toilet ( dah tak tahan sangat lah tu teeheee).

and ayam berkokok (some neighbours decided to bela ayam. bagus juga, save me the trip of going to some kampung to have that part of the kampung feel).

my first day of the weekend has just ended with me waking up to Sunday.

luckily Sunday morning is a good morning.

sad morning because tomorrow Monday comes beckoning.

but i don't mind that. i love my job (optimistic!!).

but i am somewhat pissed off by my attitude last night.

how can i call myself a gentleman, nay, a sportsman, nay, even a man!

guess what time i slept last night??

10-freaking-ish.

i am so bengang because i have last night planned to the max:

• 7.30 japan/belanda
• 10 ghana/australia
• 2.30 cameroon/denmark
• along the way-texting!

i wasted my satruday night and most probably pissed someone off.

i almost woke up for the early morning match.

i woke up at 1.47 a.m, i set my alarm (yes i had to set up the alarm because the lazy me wouldn't want to get up and wait 40 mins!)

so we can safely assume that when i went off to sleep for the second time, the next time i wake up would be to the kokokan of the ayam.

so sad, but sunday is a good day.

some people say that they would not mind if everyday was a sunday.

but think again, what about for those who works on Sundays?

mati lah hari-hari kerja sampai mati non-stop!!

so stop your selfish wishes ya?

cheers.

a serious post

following & browsing blogs have been my main activity this past few weeks.

so it's a breath of fresh air to see so many local blogs that are interesting & fun to read.

some stupid/lame jokes here and there, just along my alley.

but a few days back, a friend introduced me to a blog that is the "in your face" type kind of blog.

& i just love some honest bloggers. non pretentious, straight forward with no added fatteners.

the first few reads were hilarious if you are into sarcasm of that such.

the writer talks bout the local issues in an un-intellectual,very 5 y.o-ish kind of way. fine with me.

but then i commented on one of his post that was ridiculing a certain state in our beloved country.

whats up with that.

but i kept on reading nonetheless (at this point i am already feeling uneasy reading his piece of shit).

mind you he has a few thousand followers, and haters most probably around the same number if not more.

it's safe to say that what he writes, people actually listen. some agree, some disagree.

that is what blogs are for, to express your opinion.

i don't mind you sharing your opinion, but opinions which are at the brink of persuading people and changing peoples mind is suffice to say, kinda dangerous.

so i was reading the comments on one of his post and the topic of comments took a different turn.

no longer were they talking about the post, but about religion.

theology is something that interest me (not to say that i am pious, cause sad to say, i am one of those muslims who are struggling against satanic whispers 24/7).

scroll read scroll read scroll read......

findings: the writer has serious morale problems. no respect to race, religion, state, country.

he has a twisted ideology on the matters of religion. the worst is, he managed to get people to agree with him!!

i don't know if he even believes in God, although in one of his post he did make a reference of himself being a man of belief.

i'm not trying to get people to hate him, cause although he seriously has issues, i still do read his post.

but mind you, if you are reading his blog, just take it as light entertainment.

don't take it as facts, because as much as he tries to sound convincing, thinkers would know that it is all a whole load of BC!

happy scouting.

p/s-i was kind of lost with the terms they use : trolling, butthurt etc..enlighten me will ya?

Congrats you muthafaka, finally you've reached a new low.

You never fail to screw with my peace of mind.

Just when i was about to let you slip for disrupting my relationship with my ex (then gf), you come again knocking.

i really don't know what i did to deserve this kind of mess in my life.

i've always stood by my principle of not disturbing other people's property..so tell me again, why am i tested like this?

some people don't know what respect is, and never will.

what goes around comes around?BS!!

if shit wants to happen, then u better be prepared for whole load of mess.

a word of advice, never get involved with anyone with dodgy past, it might affect your future.

peace out!

yeeha

Alas i am rejuvenated..

i have been so bored this past few weeks..

i have nothing to do at all..(imagine me going to the boss asking if there is anything i can do..wth?!)

so all i do every single day since last monday, ehh wait i think last wednesday:

learning new vocabs such as tinker (for phone call), koyak (to explain the state of terribleness) and so many more..life is wonderful..

i have been reading random blogs, and i am inspired (yet again)..i wanna make money writing blogs but how do i do that?

i have had a few businesses lined up in my 10 year plan..

some being to open a pool joint with a few buddies, opening an online blogshop for mens wear.

it is so hard to look for online shops which sells guy's stuff..

guy's wanna be presentable to you know, and we don't have the financial capacity to go to designer outlets..

bundle?can you spell itchy crotch?

and so ends my speech bubble..have a great day!

out of the blue

Just to make things clear, the title is not related to any form of pornography or nudity that maybe associated with the colour blue. Got that? So now lets proceed.

A lot have been going on for me this past few weeks (ok lah actually its more like a couple of months). I have change my job, from an aspiring academician (a.k.a an underpaid lecturer) to the glitz & glamour of the corporate world (not so underpaid, better benefits, long hours..*_*). Life as a whole is good for me. If I pass this 6 months without a hiccup, my life is set! Daddy approval (check), fulfilling job (err...check?), bettering social life (CHECK!!), marriage...(WTF!!)

__________________________

Moving on to a depressing subject matter, the M word (not Mirul, because I can spend days on end discussing the subject that is Mirul). Every where I click (on Facebook), I get invitations to weddings, not random could-you-be-my-escort-to-my-friends-wedding kind of stuff, but the real deal, "that's the shit" Katt Williams style, Walimatulurus wedding invitation. For most that i can't attend, I truly apologize, and I hope you will have a blissful marriage life, with no problems whatsoever (wishful thinking).

I am always one to get jealous of another's happiness, but looking and browsing at pictures of their happy faces boils the temperature of the green monster in me!! I have to admit, I have the urge to get married ASAP, but who should I marry is another subject better left unsaid.....OK OK, I do have someone that I have been eying, but thats a different story altogether.

"I wanna get married"-Amirul, 2010

Rolling out the congratulatories (I made up this word):

• Atikah Amoi & hubby
• Mary & hubby..oklah szakif?
• Wan Aizuddin & partner
• Puneh & Eyra

I think that covers them all. But if I have missed a few, write it up on my comments ya? I'll re-edit this post in a month or so.

Cheers!