money issues

when i was young,

and christmas trees are tall,

du du du du du du du duuu,

(a snippet of BeeGees First of May..good shit i tell you)

when i was young and naive (when i first started my tertiary education),

money was not a big concern for me.

my parents gave me the money i needed, though i wouldn't say it is enough (600bux per month mana cukup!).

so sadly, the value of money slipped my morale compass (this sentence sounds nice so i didn't really bother checking whether it made any sense).

when i was in the university, i always wanted to earn my own income.

yes of course i feel guilty for spending my parents money on cigarettes.

but the main reason is because i wanted to spend the money i earn without feeling any guilt.

meaning i wanted to buy things i want, and not things that my parents would want me to have, catch my drift?

(selingan: i thought earning my own money would give me satisfaction, so i was really looking forward to working life while i was studying..but now i feel that being a student is the best part in life; less responsibility, more sleeping time).

but after a few months making an honest living, i realized the value of money.

dulu i looked at my bro and thought, boy kedekut gila dia ni, belanja adik pun tak mahu.

although i wasn't as thrifty as my brother, the thought of spending money without guilt was a naive mentality.

there is no such thing as that.

yesterday i went out and spent 300bux to buy my essentials (perfume&sling bag), and this morning while withdrawing money for the week, it hit me like a lorry.

duit keluar macam air (don't ask me what air lah, i leave that to your own creativity).

i wasn't regretting going out & spending my money, but the fact of the matter is, i hate looking at my depleting bank account.*sigh*

guess this is my dilemma for last weekend.

i guess you can spend whatever you want, but never regret spending it.

long term, you'll actually like what you spent.

this morning, while spraying my new perfume, and hanging my new bag on my shoulders, i thought:

"damn bro, you look fine fine fine"

then again, i always have that thought when looking in a mirror.

i love you mirror, you're the most honest thing i know, NOT like the weight scale (mutthafacka!!)

spend wisely, adios.

end note: the finer things in life makes life worth living. so cherish it and always think positive. never ever regret what you do.you only live once.cheers!