first friday

as the title suggest, it is the first Friday of twenty eleven (2011) people.

most people think that the first week of the year paves the way for the rest of the year.

in other words, if the first week sucks, then be ready for a swim in the shit pool all year looong.

my guess is that people are already thinking about how fast this year would end.

rightly so, to me, this first week pass faster then you can say "I am too ashamed to admit that I was the one who farted on the elevator on the way up to the 8th floor" -- it took me 7 seconds.

if you are working in a corporate environment, you should know how hectic the first week is.

suddenly got sooo many things to submit, and meetings have been bombarding like bird shit on a windscreen of a car parked under a tree (i do realize the amount of shit references I have been using in this post thus far).

but still I managed to squeeze some time to blog. LOL.

.........................

this year will mark a few important events for me, personally.

so i have been determined to work much harder and more gigih.

no more dozing off (like I did yesterday).

no more snaking, which I have never done, so far, like seriously.

i will be 26 in a few months.

already feeling the physical strains of since last year.

hate that feeling.

also, I see my belly inflating at a worrying rate -- I'll be physically prepared to double as santa (claus, not dewi) for this years xmas ho-ho-ho.

.........................

I do hope the year so far is treating my friends and family well this year.

lets make it a good one.

hopefully more enjoyable then the previous year. yosh!!

..........................

bila masa mereka buat addition the blogspot.

susahnya nak setting!!

i am a late bloomer

with reference to the title above, yes, I, Amirul am a late bloomer.
no.
not in the Justin Bieber sense, that would be wrong in all degrees possible.
I am a beautiful late bloomer, like the last flower to bloom in spring after a cold hard winter, when all the towns people would wait for me to bloom, and as I bloom, they rejoice and cheer and dance and sing for 3 days and 3 nights.

......................

ok I'll get straight to the point.
I finally got a twitter account.
I used to have a very negative perception on twitterianz (I used Z cause it might escalate the cool factor by 10 folds).
and I have a very concrete reason to do so.
I hate all those overrated celebs who twit (an action of twitting) almost every minute.
I mean come on, you guys might be important to some people, but picking your nose is not something to be twitted about.
but like all fragile human beings, I succumb to the temptation to be amongst the cool of the cool society -- the cooler version of pet society (which I actually used to play to impress a chick -- don't ask!).

I have to admit, that twitter is kind of fun to a certain point.
don't ask me why exactly I decided to have one, maybe its symptoms of a middle-middle age crisis?
who knows right?
but like a child who just hit puberty (ignore the JB references), I can't help but explore, and slowly begin to love what I have obtained (don't imagine me caressing myself).
twitter is fun for fun's sake.
just another distraction for me away from my mundane life.

before I scoot off, if you, yourself find yourself (english at its worst) bored and online, (thick face on) just follow me on twitter will you?
who knows I might make your day with my funny quotes and undeniably charming charm? (gahaha)

SEARCH : kakhairudeen

it'd be fun to have double digit followers by the end of January.
regards.

losing motivation

dear all,
if you noticed, I haven't been posting blogs in awhile.
why you ask me?
its not that I have not typed any drafts at all (currently there are like 3 drafts to be yet to be finished and posted).
so in that sense, being lazy to blog is not the reason for my lack of participation.
being busy at work?
well half true.
I was busy for the past month and a half, but I did try to post something up, including a special post on my trip to P********s (read : Petrosains) a few months back.
but halfway doing that, I stopped, and let that draft rot in the drafting place of doom *thunder* (is that what it is called?)
lack of motivation would be my guess.

.........................

but a few hours back, I opened up my dusted Tumblr account (again, it was left unattended longer then my blogspot account), and posted up a blog.
I can't say that I was fully motivated, as I just ended a one hour session of being schooled by some other units boss about protocol.
surprisingly though, my thoughts were clear, and words flow out of me like diarrhea, after a bad meal.
i wonder why?
maybe it is because of this:

tumblr:
type -> preview (optional) -> post

blogspot:
type -> edit fonts -> edit font colour -> preview (optional) ->post

see the difference?
two major, effort draining steps!!
gile pe?
I totally get the idea of being able to personalize and customize the whole blog to match your personality, but have you seen the blogger dashboard?
even all the options on the toolbars stink of complicatedness.
Tumblr is easy, hassle free and it makes your blog automatically look cool for you, like seriously.
Blogspot, I love you, but please learn that "less is more".
I am done.

end note - what a terrible post, I know. But what to do? This is all that I can offer. Hopefully I'll get my mojohoho back. out.

with great money comes...

ok ignore the word "great" that comes before "money".
seriously, a glance at my payslip, you will understand why the word great is a far fetched dream.
in Malay we call it "jauh panggang dari api".
or in my situation "mancis nak nyala api pun belum beli lagi".
27 november 2010 marks an interesting day, my first real salary at my new working place.
its true i have received quite an amount of money from the past six months, but it was labeled as allowance -- and by my own definition, it gives me the freedom to spend without saving.

but on my drive back home yesterday, i have begin to seriously doubt my previous choice of not saving as being the best choice.
have i lived to the fullest with that confidential amount of money spent for 6 months?
i don't think so.
that adds to the guilt i am already suffering from..T_T

so back to my paycheck..
i have been digging around and inquiring from friends and girlfriends, eiyt i meant girlfriend, on their monthly expenditures, commitments etc.
just to give me a basic guideline on how to manage my assets (if you are wondering, i am not referring to my looks as my asset).
so based on my preliminary investigation (macam buat report pule) i inserted a few applicable factors and did my calculation.
armed with a pen, a scientific calculator which i strictly use for basic calculations, and a piece of recycled paper, i started churning out some figures.

basic salary - EPF - income tax - SOCSO = OMG! tinggal banyak tu je??

so i stopped my quest, chillax dulu, tak sanggup nak kira lagi.

a few days later, i continued on with the now miserable digits...*sigh*
the feeling of grandeur that i had a few days because i thought my salary was quite a sight compared to my other friends diminished.

i won't bore you with the details of my calculation and my worries.
but i came to an obvious conclusion.
your salary is your own responsibility.
you can do whatever you want with it, but at the end of the month, you can blame nobody if you are severely lacking in funds.

now back to accepting reality..boohoo

end note - i am growing as a human being, having more responsibility, having less money. bersusah-susah dahulu bersenang-senang kemudian, or vice versa. the mind remains pondering...ceewah

..semua!!
yes it is me and i am finally back after a few weeks m.i.a.
good news for me as i looked at the blogger dashboard and i saw a +2 in my number of followers.
one more and i have reached yet another milestone:)
i know one of my followers is my brother (see his blog for a fun reading -- so he claims)

i for one discourage any of my family members to read or even follow my blog.
(i know that beats the purpose of having a blog because the main purpose is to let people read)
my main reason for having a blog is to channel dis satisfactions and left wing ideologies to the world, and of course it will come off as a tiny bit unfamily friendly.
but with that said, who gives a damn right??

a little update on yours truly.
i have finally started my new job.
a two and a half hour commute (to and fro) from my place to work.
but for the sake of mencari rezeki halal, whose complaining?(uhhh me!!)
the environment is ok, a few familiar faces i met during my trainee days are also here.
so i am slowly but surely starting to feel comfortable.
for future's sake, i won't name the organization that i am working for.
just in case i do feel like blasting them with curses and such.

as for my personal life, i think i am finding true happiness.
life is always a celebration when it is good, and hell when it is not.
i guess that's how life is.
live with it or die.
we need to be like a rolling stone, continually riding on our own momentum venturing into places unknown -- to infinity and beyond.
i don't think i have anything funny to share, but past events have made me more appreciative with what i have now.
i am loving life.
i hope this is a beginning to a freaking rock 'n' roll concert of a life.

cheers!

end note - love life, love love, love making love? (yang halal ye)

hello..

i have finally garnered enough strength to write up a post.

in reality, my life have been nothing lack of eventful since i last wrote.

whether its sad or happy, that would be for me to know.

(i suddenly remembered a letter sent by PTPTN a few months ago and i have been meaning to pay up. but i forgot where i put it *panting*)

i am wondering the tempoh of belas ikhsan before any legal step is taken against me.

(my previous employer wanted to bring me to court for not settling my lieu, keji!!)

well anyways, i better continue before i lose my mood to write.

i have been intensively reading, juggling two books.

(a seasonal suicide note, the international jew -- a book i have been frantically searching for, for months)

though i think the international jew is a book meant for the patient (penyabar, not pesakit).

seriously i was and still contemplating to make short notes or putting up post it notes on pages to remind myself what i have just read.

probably my liking for fiction based books took my ability to read with 100% concentration.

it is a good book, though you kind of need a critical mind to truly understand the issues brought up by mendiang Henry Ford (yes, the guy who invented the car).

i have to admit, i am not a critical reader, though my hair is kerinting (get it??it sounds kind of alike and i thought it would be an appropriate spastic joke....or not..whatever lah).

so hopefully by the time i finish reading, which would be around 2015, because it is almost 1000pages thick, i will finally start my book review section, which i have been babbling about in a few post before.

(but don't look forward to it, because as you know, i am very consistent in my inconsistency)

now would i like to talk about the going ons in my life??

errmmm..i don't think so.

so just appreciate what i have written because i don't know when i will have the urge to produce something as good as this..

bye-bye

note-i don't know why but i think i deserve the worst in life. probably because i think i have done too many harmful things to people who care about me. i don't know, probably it is just my mood swing, probably it is true. all the worst to me, and all the best to others. bye!

note for notes - i re-read my post, and i have the tendency to use "though". why eiyh? something to ponder at the pond (same style of joke as the critical-kerinting joke).

the L word..among other stuff

i am going a little sentimental in this post.

talking bout my theory on the L word.

not lust but love.

although some people find it hard to differentiate those two words.

people like me.

call me old fashioned but i truly believe in the sacredness of the word love.

it means you deeply and sincerely care about the person you feel it towards.

i.e family, friends, girl/boyfriends in general.

never say the word love blatantly unless you really really really mean it.

i've past my womanizing days, and yes by blatantly saying the word in the correct moment (moment of pure vulnerability) you WILL score a lot of points.

but a strict principle i held on to for more than 10 years (amboi) is to not say the word iunless you mean it.

people nowadays say it regularly like it is worthless.

as frequent as they say the word sh*t,f*uck,f*uck that sh*t, although i doubt the feasibility in the last phrase.

imagine f*cking that sh*t?

i dare not dwell on that matter, baru je lepas sahur ni.

anyways, what i want to say is, treasure that special word wisely.

it means a lot to some people.

and remember, "i love eating burgers" is lust, not love.

think about it.

...........................................

today is my second day temporarily parentless.

couple of challenges includes the laundry (wash,dry,fold), sisters wellfare (food, studies etc.)

i tell you it is no easy job.

so in this moment of enlightenment, i pay my respect to all the parents out there.

truly tough task you have going on raising kids.

being the responsible brother i am, i settle all the laundry.

not that easy seeing as to how early i go to work, and how late i reach home by the end of the day.

so i opted to settle the laundry at night (thank God for the invention of the dryer).

as for household chores, i delegate it fairly among us three.

no power abuse suprisingly.

and suprisingly more is that i take up most of the chores.

another matter that suprises me is to how caring i am towards my sisters.

don't ask me how, but i seem to care about them more.

maybe i do have a softer more responsible side to me.

suddenly i feel like i am a dad concerned over his pride and joys.

as an example, i make noon calls to both of them to make sure everything is fine and dandy.

i call them before i drive back from work.

and i asked how their day was??

seriously!!

i deem myself to be a wonderful parent in the future. Amiiiin.

till we meet again.

salam.

end note - just too many positive words being said above, so in this post, no summary of good things. enjoy your family as you enjoy looking yourself in the mirror after putting on a nice set of clothes smirking.

it is another hectic/emotional/draining montag

salam ramadhan al-mubarak (hehe).

as always, i am about to complain about the complexity of my life.

but in most cases, i make the situation more complex than it is.

exhibit A; relationship based problems.

that explains me still being available for the picking but cute fruit harvesters.

(imagine me as a finally ripen juicy apple.lmao!)

ok, where shall i start.

from morning to present times i suppose.

chronology is the key to an interesting story.

you may or may not know that i took a day off today.

primarily to laze around endlessly.

but i had two interviews today.

for the same post but different divisions.

it's hard to understand if you don't know what i am currently doing.

so the morning session was ok la, not bad in my books.

but the afternoon session started off badly with me getting slightly lost (blame the road for being uber winding).

and upon arrival, they were some miscommunications, and so i had to wait 40minutes for my interview session (lucky i had my BB-berlagak sikit di situ).

it started off well with my interviewers being the cool sempoi type.

than they gave me a marker and a whiteboard, not as a gift, but for me to solve problematic situational err situations.

and it relates to the thing that i studied a YEAR & a HALF ago.

memang lah i dah ingat-ingat lupa malu-malu kucing.

(i think i have the convincing i am intelligent look, but i know they were disappointed to discover the shallowness of my knowledge).

i tried my best in that dire situation.

but unfortunately BSing does not work in situations where you are judged based on facts.

and at that time, my facts were a dismal nil!!

and hour and a half later, the bombing of berlin ceased.

i was left there pondering stupidly, putting on a brave face.

i felt like i was stripped naked and tied up on a flag pole for people to admire errr stare i mean.

but there is a plus side to all this...

ok fine!

there are no plus sides!

but i tell you i am going back there fully equipped in a months time!

mark my words mister "i fail to see the glimpse of light from your ideas".

fuhhh!geram aku rasa nak debik tapi aku bersabar.

................................

my parents left for umrah leaving me and my two little sisters home.

it was kinda touching although they will be gone only for a week.

i'll tell on my tales and tips on how to manage a household without making it into a househole while juggling a career (ceewah) while maintaining poise and class of an aristocrat.

so ladies and gentlemen that signals the end of my rambling.

have a nice week.

end note-people may not be tested till they are faced with desperate situations. i suppose the interview and the management of the house and siblings would be a good test for me. of course, there will always be a brighter side of things in any situation. it all depends on you on how you see it.

finally something good.

i am gonna start my post with a startling news.

remember the list on my previous post?

well i already sadly did not achieve one of it.

due to exhaustion and unforeseen circumstances, i missed last nite's tarawih.

but fortunately tonite's tarawih is fulfilling.

and the tazkirah, well lets put it this way, was impactful.

terasa insaf yang berpanjangan...

.....................

on to a slightly less significant nothing related to ramadhan news.

after almost 2 months of pondering, finally i have made my mind.

i am gonna do it tomorrow!!

yeay!!

end.

for you & me

salam ramadhan al-mubarak.

it's that time of the month again (restraining myself from making period jokes).

fasting month is here.

quick tickets to losing pounds.

it is an Ibadah, and it is a time when we should reflect on ourselves.

our lifestyle, attitude etc.

so i have been a bit of a nuisance to people quite recently.

so i thought to myself, i need a change.

so this is my ramadhan change list (bare with me, its a long list):

1. QUIT SMOKING (i bought myself a pack of nicotine gums. instead of smoking before tarawih, i'll just chew on the gum. hopefully i can make it.amiiin~)
2. quit being selfish
3. quit being judgmental
4. quit reacting based on emotion
5. think before i act
6. stop hurting people emotionally & mentally
7. refrain from vulgarity
8. refrain from mencuci mata excessively
9. be more motivated
10. be more financially savvy
11. be more sincere in doing my daily task
12. BE A BETTER MUSLIM-judging from my current amalan, i am almost guaranteed a spot in hell;(
13. complete tarawih for the whole month
14. finally, don't hangat-hangat tahi ayam for once

i realized that i have a lot of shortcomings.

and i have turned a blind eye to it.

but since a Holy month is here, why not make the best of it.

ramadhan only comes once a year, so why not invest on it.

why don't you guys share your wish list with me?

in my first post after ramadhan, i'll cross out the things that i think i have improved on.

i may not achieve all, but i really x88 hope i can reduce my bad habits.

puasa penuh kawan-kawan ye!

end note-we always overlook our own weaknesses. never do that. change for the better. i promised someone that i'll change. with God's blessings, i hope i do change. but remember, change for yourself, not for other people. it'll last longer.

the observer

yes, i am referring to myself.

i am observant and i realized this on my drive back home from the hospital.

i observed 3 crucial things.

but the number may increase depending on whether i am creative enough to olahkan, or whether i am rajin enough to even finish this post.

one (satu)

i observed that i am observant and that i have a critical thinking mind.

very creative in depicting everything i see in real life detail and specificity.

two (dua)

i am a liar as you might notice in the statement above.

i am neither observant nor critical minded nor creative.

two point one (dua poin satu)

i am honest cause i actually told you that i have just lied.

three (tiga)

the twilighters.

yes!

there is a twilight fan club in Malaysia called twilighters.

i saw the sticker on the back of a car.

clearly stating "Twilighters Malaysia".

so it is safe to say that not only Malaysians are stupid, ramai juga orang luar Malaysia yang sanggup devote to a glorified chick flick (hehe).

i am waiting to bump into a car with a "harry potheads" sticker, cause that shit is huge-r than twilight.

four (empat)

people tend to tilt their head slightly to the right during traffic congestions.

why?

don't ask me.

remember, i am the observer, not the answerer.

duhhh!

end.

end note - i am trying my hardest not to sound too gloomy, fyi i am still stuck in the mendung weather. wishing for happier days. hopefully Ramadhan's blessing will bless my heart & soul. God bless you guys. Selamat berbuka (soon)!

theory on dreams

This can be a cliché of the thousands and thousands of posts out there which is Inception based.

Don’t worry, this is not a review on the movie.

I won’t bore you with my theories which were gained by cumulating other people’s theory.

But since watching that movie, the idea has struck me as quite feasible.

Not the part where we can enter another’s dream bla..bla..bla.

The part where they say about the ideas which are implemented during a dream will resurface in the conscious mind.

Sounds logical kan?

Lets relate it in our daily life.

Ok la relate it to my daily life.

I had a freakish combo dream (two tales in a session of sleep)

To be fair, I slept at 9 p.m and woke up at 6 a.m. (I have been sleeping quite early this whole week)

So, plenty of time there.

I won’t go into the specifics of the dream, cause it involves a few individuals that I am close to.

But as a summary, the dream relates closely to my daily life.

So close that when I finally woke up, I was dazed by the new facts I have received during my sleep.

It took me awhile to convince myself that it was a dream.

But the fact still remains that a dream has a certain degree in power to influence your emotions.

Dreams are dangerous.

It really is, but dreams are fun, especially the ones which involves you to take early cold showers in the morning, kalau tak, tak boleh sembahyang Subuh (kuikui).

...........................................

Anyways, so far I’m still coping well with my new work environment.

And for some strange reason, I bonded pretty well with those from the maintenance crew.

Similar case with my first work rotation.

Is this a psychological disorder of wanting to feel superior?

If this is, how do I overcome it?

Or is this a petanda that I have good PR with “subordinates” and that my true skills lie in being a good manager? (wow!)

Let’s just see how that goes in a few years time ya?

.............................................

Personally, my life is in a rumble.

Again, no details.

I appreciate friends who are willing to take time to listen to my problems, seriously.

I love you guys.

But for now, I’ll just keep mum.

Silence is golden.

Maybe I’ll be rich if I keep mum for a few months.

Then I can go shop till I drop.

Bye-bye.

Oh ya, will it hurt if I knocked the street light at 60 km/h?

Sounds like a fun experiment: Savvy vs Street light (hahaha).

End note – family is important, and friends are really nice to have too. They listen although they don’t really know how to help. In a way, that is also helping. So keep good company. You never know if they would make a positive change in your life in the future.

15 minutes only

half an hour ago, i promised myself that i will put up a new post.

half an hour later, here i am, on my bed, bersila in front of my lappy, typing.

about what?

let's just see what i can squeeze out from my puny brain.

ohh. did i tell you people that i plan to type non-stop for 15 minutes and stop exactly after that?

just to see how creative (safe word for numbskull) i can be.

ohh. timeout, tengok t.v jap, cerita dah start.

(stop stopwatch)

............................................

ok continue.

lets go with some updates.

i am currently being posted at a private hospital in subang.

i think i need to buy some shirts this month.

last month, pants month.

this month shirts, next month probably 2 pairs of shoes.

the next, probably a few cardigans.

goshh..so many to buy.

(pause- dammit i do sound like a girl)

so from now on, shopping wishlist to myself.

and also i have decided not to sound to sappy at my blogspot.

it will tarnish my lelaki kebal image.

instead i'll sound sappy here.

ok ok, a few more minutes left.

i have decided to see life more positively.

relinquish all my negative thoughts, and think less of what burdened me in the past.

jeez..not an interesting post.

what the heck. more to come.

ciao~

end note - i have nothing smart to say this time. later ya?

gorry details of Amirul's special day

this is a special post:

the day started off badly for me.

came out of the house early.good.

slightly motivated though it was raining woof woof & miao miao since early morning.good.

drove carefully.exceedingly excellent.

then multiple shits happened.

almost knocked a motorcyclist (sape suruh potong guna emergency lane).shit.

got into NKVE and stuck.shit.

encountered two accidents along the way.shit.

finally ended up at the office late.shit shit shit.

6 shits outweigh 2 good and 1 excellent (equivalent of 2 goods) every single time!

a bad day to start my day.

but it didn't stop there.

rushed into the office due to heavy duty loads knocking on my backdoor eagerly wanting to see the light of day (but they didn't know that i plan to drown them in chlorinated water and flush them down like bring it on!!).

did the necessary preparations before docking into designated work station (toilet bowl).

finally some peace of mind.

peace & quiet, and nothing stopping me from unloading the waste that have been pulling my weight up!

die faecal matter die!

suddenly another guy went in the next cubicle and judging by the sound of the unbuckling belt and zip downed at a hasty pace, i am sure his venturing into the same business i am in.

(kelakar kan sometimes you hear people next door struggling & mendengus to get it out.gross.lmao!)

the worst was yet to happen!

it stank!

it stank even more then the stankiest of stink!

dude, what you had for breakfast.

it was like all hell broke lose and the smelly hell decided to drop by and say hello!

i had to counter the effect or i'll be in the front page of all major tabloids:

"a trainee found dead in a cubicle with his pants down"

wtf?!

that sounds wrong in every way you see it.

so i lit my cigarette.two reasons.

1. drive the smell away.
2. nicotine is a good insecticide, so no lalats.

unfortunately it was to no avail.

so i hurried my business, cleaned up, and scoot out.

i sat down staring at my laptop with an empty stare.

dude, WHAT did you eat for breakfast.

day, please spare me the agony and end quickly.

out.

end note - it was a joy seeing all the birthday wishes on my facebook wall. the joy in seeing those wishes along with a few texts from my ex students and friends, and calls from family members will always turn the frown upside down. happy birthday Amirul, you deserve it after a year of staying alive:)